The hubby and I recently jetted off to Europe for a tour of some of the greatest cities in the world. We decided we should have some adventures before some children come along and take all our money.
First was Ireland; beautiful, green, mountainous, and ... much smaller than Texas. Then to Paris (My favorite of them all because it is the most fabulous, obviously). Paris was filled with fabulous looking people wearing fabulous clothes in a city filled with fabulous monuments, shopping, food, history, art, etc. etc. etc. Last was Italy for a quick view of Venice, Lake Como, and Milan. We absolutely loved our whirlwind tour. If you haven’t gone already, go. If you have gone already, go again. I already want to start saving up for our next visit. If the opportunity presented itself I would move over there right now. I beg my husband almost every day.
What does Europe have to do with Texas? Honestly, almost nothing. The two places have hardly anything in common, but while in Europe I couldn’t help but think what a typical, “Only in Texas,” Texan would think of Europe and also what the Europeans would think of them.
A Texan would probably love the Irish and vice versa. They are both loud, like to hangout in bars, drink beer, watch sports, and they both drive like maniacs. The Irish’s favorite brand of beer is “Guinness.” Their Guinness is our Budweiser. I think I saw/heard the word Guinness more than any other word in Ireland. If you walk into a bar in Ireland you’ll always see a game on, but don’t look for the football game. A Texan would have to adopt a love for rugby. Driving in Ireland is an adventure all its own. If you took a Texan and put them on an Irish road they probably wouldn’t even fit. No Ford Texas Edition truck would ever fit on an Irish road, or any European road. The cars are tiny and the roads are tinier. Everyone goes 20 above the speed limit though so at least the Texan would be going the same speed as everyone else. To make it easier, the roads and the steering wheel are on the opposite side. I would love to see the faces of the Irish when they see a Texas Truck haulin’ it down the road…or trying to haul it down the road before getting a door swiped off by a stone wall or falling off a cliffside.
Texans and the Parisians would not mix quite as well. Parisians are more of a, “Keep to yourself,” type of culture; none of this, “Howdy,” or, “Whoop.” I can just imagine the eye-rolls and glares that would be sent in the direction of a shoutin’ hollerin’ cowboy. I already know what they would think of the hollerin’ cowboy’s dress attire. “Jeans? With the shirt tucked-in, and that large metal buckle holding it all in place? And that hat!” The Texan would probably wonder about the Parisians clothes as well. My now Texan husband was so perplexed over the Parisians sense of style he mentioned it nearly everyday. “Aren’t there any rebels? Everyone’s always dressed nice.” In the end he blamed it on a government conspiracy. “There is no way a whole culture can all dress that good. They probably don’t allow ugly clothes to be sold in their stores.” If their clothes look good their food looks better. I don’t know what they would think of our, “corn bread and chicken,” but no Texan is going to be able to find it on any Paris café or restaurant menu.
Italy would probably be fine. Don’t touch anything in their stores though; they seem to not like that. If you’re a multi-lingual Texan you’ll fit right in. While waiting at a bus stop we were in company with people speaking German, Spanish, Italian, and English; four languages on one corner. That wouldn’t happen too often on any corner in Texas; Only in Europe.
Corinne recently moved from Utah to Texas and enjoys pointing out the funny things she notices that are “Only in Texas.” You can contact her with comments & questions at firstname.lastname@example.org.