I recently went camping as a chaperone for some of the youth from my church. What I experienced was unlike anything I have ever experience before. Disappointingly so. Going to a place within walking distance of a freeway and lodging in air-conditioned cabin does not count as camping.
I feel I have the social responsibility to inform these young Texans what camping is really like. First, we will need some mountains. Picture... the Rockies. High, big, and covered with miles of granite rock, emerald green pine trees, and flowing waterfalls.
Don't bother bringing your cell phone. The cell towers don't reach that high of an altitude. The only sound you will hear will be the hum of crickets, not the hum of cars from the freeway. Once you drive miles off the beaten path you will make it to your campsite. No, there are no cabins, and it can be assumed there are certainly no toilets.
You will need to set-up your tent. Sorry kids, tents typically don't come equipped with air conditioning. Bunk beds usually don't come with the tent either. A cot and sleeping bag will do your back some good. Now the latrine! Get your shovel, and remember, deep not wide.
When it's time to eat, you should not be gathering around the smoker pit. You should be circled around the fire pit. Say it with me now, FIRE pit. I'm talking wood and matches. Don't go get your brisket either. I want to see tin foil dinners, hot dogs, and marshmallows.
The swimming that the youth got to do was in a pool complete with cute lifeguard. This is not allowed when you are camping either. It is lake, or nothing. Yes, you will probably run into some leeches along the way, but don't worry, it's all part of the experience.
Making laps around the camp does not count as a hike. A hike includes trails, hills, challenging terrain, a backpack, and a beautiful nature-scape at the end.
Now I realize it is not your fault, Texas, that you were not endowed with mountains or for that matter even so much as a rolling hill to provide good locations for a good camp site, but please, if you are a Texan, make it a point to go actual camping at least once. You won't regret it.
Corinne recently moved from Utah to Texas and enjoys pointing out the funny things she notices that are "Only in Texas." You can contact her with comments & questions at HYPERLINK "mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org"email@example.com.