Dear Marcie,

I have many questions that involve deciphering the male mind. I am confused as to why they act and think the way they do. If at all possible could you help breakdown guy-lingo?


Dear Desperately-Seeking-Answers,

Women have spent years trying to decipher the male mind, especially when it comes to courtship and dating. I certainly don't claim to have a corner on the market either. So I sought out and questioned several males ranging in age from their 20's to 40's and summarized the majority anwsers. This is what I uncovered: answers to your questions, from the "Mind of a Man."

1. W: Girl crushes on guy/man while they are friends, he keeps telling her she's marriage material but keeps going out with every other girl but her?

Move on. You'll always be the friend. "Marriage material" is just another way of saying "I like you too much as a person to knock you, but you don't cut it where it counts for me."

2. W: Why is it that the more distant I become, the more interested he becomes?

The more alpha the male, the more the ego must consume to maintain its size and stability. Distance=I'm losing my hold=get back here you slippery fish! Be careful, though. Keep pushing away to attract attention and he may just decide the bruising to the ego is too much and look for someone to refill his buffet.

3. W: What actions give off as "seeming" too needy? What do guys perceive as being too needy?

Whining, complaining, insecurity and the inability to make a decision without consultation. Oh, and really just about everything else.

4. W: Why do guys wait three days before calling back?

Gotta be cool, never eager. Sort of like saying: It's ok if you want to go out with me, but I really don't need you and you're just holding up the line. Refer to the movie "Swingers" for further discussion.

5. W: Do guys think that women need to be smothered with material gifts?

Because women love "things." There's nothing you can't get a woman to do for diamonds.

6. W: Which do men prefer? Brains or beauty-Why?

Ideally both. Beauty is always a plus but there's only so long you can sit across the table from a turnip.

7. W: How do men react when women say they need some space?

Depends on the man. Give it to them to make them happy or give it to them to enjoy a little "space" of their own.

8. W: Why do men not like to say goodbye (via text, email or phone)?

Why close the well when you can keep going back for water?

There you have it. Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. We might not understand each other most of the time, and often fall into a blinding rage at miscommunication, but ultimately we must co-exist. Right?